Well...I guess Haileyism Daily will now evolve into HaileyANDReaganism Daily. Max and I are so blessed to expand our family, and I have already learned so much about my Heavenly Father's love for us in Reagan's four short days of life. Today I'd like to bear my testimony of the lessons I've gleaned as I get to know my new sweet angel.
1) Heavenly Father knows his children intimately, and He patiently provides opportunities for his children to thrive. It is then up to us whether or not we choose to "latch on" to these opportunities or fight against him.
The first couple of weeks of nursing are DIFFICULT! It is a time for Mom and Baby to learn to communicate with one another, and it is an incredible time of bonding, but it is also a huge challenge initially. It is physically and spiritually painful for Mom and can be very frustrating for Baby, which in turn causes frustration, sleepless nights, and sometimes depression for Mom.
I honestly was impressed and surprised at how easily Reagan latched on in the hospital, and it appeared that breast feeding would be a much easier transition that it was with Hailey (who really never was interested). Then we got home, and things became more difficult. I think Reagan would rather sleep than do anything else in the whole world, and it is nearly impossible to get her to wake up, let alone want to eat. As my milk began to come in, I knew I needed to be nursing her every 2-3 hours, but I could not get her to wake up any more than every 4-5 hours, and when we forced her (by undressing her or changing her diaper), she became frantic and erratic, and she would ultimately become so upset that she could not latch at all.
There have been several times that I have expressed milk and lined her up to nurse perfectly. All she had to do was close her mouth and take the bait, but instead she threw her head back and continued to scream. I have been surprised by my patience - I have not really become stressed or angry, but rather sad, with a feeling of helplessness.
I realize this must be how Heavenly Father feels when his children do not heed the promptings of the Spirit - He loves us so much that He provides multiple opportunities for us to choose the right, which will allow us to thrive and truly delight in the sweet, life-sustaining milk that he has to offer. He does not become frustrated, upset, or angry when we choose to scream and throw a fit; nor does He give up on his children. Rather he continues to whisper sweet promptings to his children, and he gives us the opportunity to choose how we will respond.
It seems ironic that as soon as Reagan relaxes and does the little bit of work required, that milk flows abundantly and endlessly, and our relationship is strengthened as our spirits are synchronized. I believe the same applies to my relationship with my Heavenly Father. "Be STILL and know that I am God" makes more sense to me than ever. He is not saying that we should be idle, but rather acknowledge that HIS way is the RIGHT way, and all we need to do is "latch on." Then and only then can he bless us abundantly.
As Reagan and I continue to become more in sync with one another, I will be thankful that my Heavenly Father knows me, and I will choose to be still and latch on to the promptings of the Spirit.
2) It is amazing the success we can have when we are laser focussed on one thing and determined to master that skill.
I have always been good at a lot of things. That SOUNDS like a valuable attribute, but it has actually been very detrimental on my journey to developing to my full potential. Why? Because I've never really become GREAT at any one thing. It is very difficult to choose a career path or achieve goals when one doesn't really know which target at which to aim.
Nursing Reagan has changed all of that.
I have never been more determined to succeed at any one activity than nursing my daughter. There are so many benefits associated with nursing that it hasn't been difficult to establish my reason for achieving this goal.
"If your 'why' is strong enough, you will figure out the 'how.'"
I realize there is nothing that is going to stop me from mastering this skill, and I am determined to succeed, no matter what trials arise. There have already been times in our short four days together where I have wanted to throw in the towel. It has been painful and difficult, and I know that formula-feeding my baby is a perfectly viable option and highly recommended by many people - including her pediatrician.
BUT....
The pros outweigh the cons a thousand fold, and more than anything, this is a decision that my husband and I have made, and there is nothing that is going to stand in our way to attain success.
So...what have I learned from this? It's time to start focussing and becoming a master of ONE skill instead of mediocre at many skills.
What does it take?
1) A strong "Why." No...and impenetrable "why!" There must be NO doubt in ones belief that this goal MUST be met - that "do or die" attitude.
2) An understanding that it will not be easy, but that's OK...because the "why" trumps the "how."
3) A support system. Team up with someone who shares your exuberance and work together to achieve the goal. In the case of nursing Reagan, Max's support has been more than invaluable - His desire for us to succeed and his belief in me has driven him to do everything in his power to help us be successful. I am so thankful to have such a supportive mate, and I look forward to achieving more goals with him in the future.
Well...there ya go. Four days with Reagan, and she has already taught me two incredible lessons. Give us about two weeks to master this goal, then look out 2014 - the Jacobs family is about to do some GREAT things!
